i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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