True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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