roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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