Im at strip club and am horny
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
