Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
