Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love having hate sex.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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