I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
