She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
