I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
