He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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