hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
