I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
