Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if only i could text you this smell
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I will be naked everywhere
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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