I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
