that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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