its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
