this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Even my vagina gasped.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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