This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
