You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
