dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
