This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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