is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Pooping to opera.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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