Farmville is her only friend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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