Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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