Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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