So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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