so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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