Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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