everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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