i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize