I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
