i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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