You work out of a Hotel?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
