I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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