you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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