i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Found the puke drawer
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
