How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i think my cat just said my name.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
