all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
