yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
