I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
