After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
