legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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