just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
