Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize