think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
