I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
