there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
