and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
