So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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