I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
