i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
