If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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