I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
