How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
