Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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