imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
