Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
