The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
