if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Drake has all the answers
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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