guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize