you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
