how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
