Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
