I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't turn off my feet"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
