woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
