How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
