Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize