I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
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I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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