I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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